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Eliminate Negative Thoughts And Lose Weight

Posted by Rachel Moon on
Eliminate Negative Thoughts And Lose Weight

Eliminate negative thoughts. You think thousands of thoughts each day. You talk to yourself more than anyone else.

Eliminate negative thoughts. You think thousands of thoughts each day. You talk to yourself more than anyone else. You are your most trusted advisor and confidant.

Many of the conversations that you have with yourself you would never share with anyone else because to do so would expose the “real” you. The you that is filled with self doubt, worries, sadness, guilt, hurts and disappointments.

But this is not the “real you” at all.

This is the you that your ego and belief systems have constructed. These negative beliefs have been constructed by you, and accepted by you as truth. The sad thing is that nothing can be further from the truth.

Where did these false ideas about you originate?

They mostly came from others; parents, teachers, co-workers, and friends. They might have planted the seed by saying something like “she is fat” and you have cultivated those comments to the point that they have become your truth.

You are allowing your entire life to be controlled by some obscure comments made years ago. Nobody has the right or power to dictate who you are. Only you know who you truly are and what’s in your heart.

When you were born you entered this world without the burdens of you current negative belief system.

You entered this world as a beautiful bundle of joy filled with unlimited potential and possibilities.

You have not changed. You are still and will always be a beautiful bundle of joy with unlimited potential and possibilities.

The only difference is what you give your attention to. Let me ask you a question. If you stopped all the negative talk that you currently have with yourself such as

  • I’m too fat
  • Why would anyone want to love me
  • I will never be thin
  • I always fail

And the list can go on and on. How would you feel ? Do you think that you would feel emotionally lighter ? Do you think that you would feel happier ? Do you think that you would feel more confident ?

Now, how do you think your life would change if you were to go one step further and modify your self talk by only speaking positively about yourself?

If you take some time and focus on what you like about yourself and focus on only that your emotional state will become positive to the point that you will be able to accomplish anything.

Once you begin looking for the positive things within you, you will be surprised to realize your magnificence has always been there just below the surface. You have never been anything other then that shining bundle of joy that entered the world years ago. It’s easy to uncover positive aspects of yourself by asking some questions.

  • What am I good at?
  • Who has benefited by me being in the world?
  • Who am I, what is in my heart that only I know?
  • What do I like about my body?

Your goal is to feel good now.

How do you feel now? If you only observe what you feel is positive about you, you will feel good, you will be happy. Decide right here and right now how you want to feel. Decide that you will always look for the good within you and appreciate that goodness.

So what does all of this have to do with losing weight?

Everything!!! Your emotional state is the control valve that determines what you draw into your experience. How you talk to yourself creates your beliefs and programs your subconscious. So you need to ask yourself do you want your beliefs and subconscious programming to be based on false negative thinking. Or do you want your beliefs to be based on the truth, that you are and always have been a perfect being.

Begin today to love and nurture yourself.

Allow the joy, playfulness and enthusiasm that you naturally had as a child begin to flow into your everyday experiences. Allow yourself to celebrate each and every success no matter how small. Love and appreciate yourself every opportunity you have. Do this everyday and watch your weight begin to dissolve just as your old negative beliefs about yourself begin to dissolve.


 

How Starving Your Body Can Make You Gain Weight

Posted by Rachel Moon on
How Starving Your Body Can Make You Gain Weight

How Starving Your Body Can Make You Gain Weight

Gain weight. No, that title is not a typo. One of the things that makes people not get the weight loss results that they want is that they may occasionally be starving their bodies. There are two basic ways that this can happen. One is for it to be done inadvertently—like when you just get busy and forget to eat.

Another is when you purpose deprive your body of food to try and “speed up” your results. Regardless of how it happens, either scenario in this case is equally damaging. Although you will decrease the calories that you take in which may lead to some short-term weight loss, the kicker here is that you will be slowing down your metabolism.

What this means is that after the starving is over, your body will hold onto the next meal you eat for dear life, expecting be starved again. If you allow starvation to become a habit, you will actually be contributing to your own weight gain in the future.

Therefore, make sure that you are keeping your meals no more than 4 hours apart. As long as you do this, you will be supporting the healthy metabolism that you’ll need to lose the kind of weight that you’ve committed to. 


 

Diet And Exercising For Weight Loss

Posted by Rachel Moon on
Diet And Exercising For Weight Loss

Diet And Exercising For Weight Loss

Weight loss. Obesity is now being called an epidemic in the health community. Obesity leads to type two diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease or stroke and even an increased risk of cancer. With all of these health risks, as well as the general improvement in the quality of life that can occur, losing weight is one of the best things that you can do for yourself.

No matter what we would like to believe, there simply isn’t a magic solution to losing weight.

The body will shed excess fat when it needs more calories to function through the demands you place on it in a given day than the amount of calories that you feed it. It’s that simple. So, in order to lose weight, you need to decrease the number of calories that you eat as well as increase the amount that you burn.

There is a wide range of options to choose from when looking for a weight loss program.

All of them often spend a lot of time explaining what to eat, in what amounts and even at what times or in what combinations. But few of them emphasize the importance of exercise – not just for losing weight, but for your general health and wellbeing. Exercise is vital when trying to lose weight for several reasons:

First, as you start to eat less, your metabolism will slow down somewhat.

Exercising helps to elevate your metabolism back to an efficient level. Second, as mentioned, exercise burns more calories so that you can lose weight faster and stay motivated in your efforts.Third, exercise actually releases endorphins, chemicals that keep your mood elevated.

Exercise doesn’t have to mean spending hours at the gym or straining through exhausting workouts.

In fact, in order for you to stick with it on the long run, exercising should be something that you enjoy. Start by increasing your activity level in an overall way. Take the stairs when you can. Park further from the mall door when you go shopping. Go for a walk in the park or through a neighborhood you love and bring a dog or a friend along for company. Take dance or martial arts lessons.

Once you become more active in general, you’ll find it easier and more natural to move into regular exercise.

Which you’ll need to do eventually in order to get regular, noticeable health benefits. You need to raise your heart rate to a fat burning level and keep it there for at least 20 minutes, 3 times or more a week. However, if you don’t want to go to a gym, there are other options. Videos and DVDs are now available in all kinds of exercise types. That way you can change your routine whenever you want so that you don’t get bored with what you’re doing. Try a range of aerobics, kickboxing, yoga, or pretty much any activity you want right in the comfort of your own home.

If you have physical limitations that would keep you off from exercising, you can still find a way to increase your activity level.

Water aerobics is a wonderful option for those who have joint problems or limited mobility because it relieves the pressure on your body that your weight provides. But you still get the resistance to challenge your muscles from the water. There are even classes and videos available that let you exercise in a seated position.

Whatever kind of exercise you choose, it’s important to stay motivated and keep it fun.

Try gathering a group together to make it a social event. Or get a pedometer, a device that tracks how far you walk, and see how many miles you can walk a week. Make a competition amongst your friends or family members and treat the winner with something special (not food related!). Make the experience of exercising something that you look forward to, and it will soon become a regular part of your healthier lifestyle.


 

Debt 5: Understanding Debt – Leveraging Liabilities, Staying Debt Free

Posted by Sam Valece on
Debt 5: Understanding Debt – Leveraging Liabilities, Staying Debt Free

Understanding Debt - Leveraging Liabilities & Staying Debt Free

Understanding debt. You’re taught that your home is your biggest asset. If that’s true, why do so many people fail to utilize their home as an income-producing asset?

The answer is because so many of us are limited by misunderstandings about debt. When we understand the correct definition of debt, we are able to unleash unutilized potential to increase our production.

Can you give a clear definition of debt? We’re taught by financial pundits and religious leaders to avoid debt, but do we even know what debt is? How can we avoid something when we don’t know what we’re trying to avoid?

The most common definition of debt is any borrowed money, which is false.

My friend Les McGuire, who spoke Japanese, used to teach this concept by telling people that they should avoid “tabemono” like the plague. The joke is that tabemono means food in Japanese, and the ironic point is that, first of all, by not knowing what it is we can never avoid it in the first place, and secondly, if we don’t know the correct definition of debt, we may be avoiding the very thing that is the most essential to our financial health.

So many people are avoiding “debt”, but not only do they not know what it is, they are also avoiding some of the most critical knowledge about finances that keeps them away from prosperity. Ironically, it’s also the knowledge that would help them get out of debt.

The True Definition of Debt

Contrary to the common definition, debt is the negative difference between liabilities and assets. It’s having more liabilities than you have assets on your balance sheet, and the difference between them. The best way to understand this is through balance sheets. The purpose of a balance sheet is to itemize one’s assets and liabilities and determine if they either have an overall equity position, or a debt position. For example, suppose a person owns a home with a market value of $300,000 (asset) and owes $100,000 to the bank (liability). Ignoring every other asset and liability, how much debt does he have? The common definition would say that he has $100,000 of debt. The true definition (although strangely ignored and/or unknown by most people) helps us to see that this person has zero debt, and actually has $200,000 of equity, which is the opposite of debt.

On the other hand, what if a person owns a home with a market value of $300,000 and carries a mortgage of $305,000? Again, the false definition of debt says that this person has $305,000 of debt, whereas the technically correct definition plainly shows that this person only has $5,000 of debt.

Again, the way to determine your amount of debt is to total your assets, total your liabilities, and then subtract your liabilities from your assets. Equity means that you have more assets than liabilities, and debt means that you have more liabilities than assets.

Why It Matters To Your Prosperity

Once a person understands the proper definition of debt, they can understand how they can leverage resources and increase their cash flow. For example, suppose the homeowner with $200,000 of equity were to extract that previously-unused resource and then use it to buy a real estate property whose cash flow is greater than the liability incurred from the refinance? They did not increase their debt; they merely leveraged their equity to increase their cash flow.

Why is this knowledge so critical for people to understand?

Because countless people are unaware of the potential for wealth creation in their own homes. There is much misinformation surrounding the concept of debt, and it severely limits productivity. Myths surrounding debt result in literally billions of unseen, undervalued, and untapped dollars that, if understood and utilized properly, could drastically increase the wealth of most people. There are ways to leverage all of your assets, including and especially your home equity, without ever going into debt.

People who fear debt – and misunderstand what it actually is – often have thousands and even hundreds of thousands of dollars available to them that go unused. When they experience the paradigm shift of realizing what debt really is, they are able to open up a whole new world and unleash unprecedented amounts of productivity through principle-based and debt-free borrowing and lending.


 

Debt 4: The Smart Credit Card Plan – The Perfect Paydown Strategy

Posted by Sam Valece on
Debt 4: The Smart Credit Card Plan – The Perfect Paydown Strategy

The Smart Credit Card Plan -The Perfect Paydown Strategy

The perfect paydown strategy. Behavioral economist Meir Statman, recently said “getting out of debt is the financial equivalent of trying to quit smoking.” Just like any bad habit, good intentions alone will not be enough. To ensure success, we need to break our underlying patterns of behavior. On a recent visit to Germany, I was shocked to find that less than 35% of all the shops and restaurants accepted credit cards. What would we need to do to reverse this trend and get into a (plus) situation.

Plastic Surgery

If we are serious about paying off our balances. We don’t have to literally cut up our credit cards, just stop using them routinely. We should go green for our everyday spending. Try carrying around a set amount of cash to use each week. We make better purchasing decisions when we actually have to hand over the green stuff plus there’s a preset spending limit. When we run out of money, we stop spending. It’s that simple. When the only way to purchase is plastic, buying online for instance, then use your debit card. Your debit card can also be used as an emergency substitute for cash should you run out.

Leave Those Cards At Home

The best way to ensure that you enforce the cooling off period on new credit purchases is by taking the cards out of your wallet. You should store them in a place that’s not easily accessible and safe. Do not let others know where you have hidden them.

Close The Accounts No Longer Needed

Having unused credit available from lenders with whom you’ve had a long relationship will help boost your credit score. Having too many will harm your credit score. As a rule, 3 credit cards is what works best and try to never spend more than 50% of the available credit on any of the cards. This will keep your score at it’s highest. You should also consider closing all your store cards. If you need to make a purchase then use your credit card and pay it off at the end of the month.

Lowering Your Interest Rates

Start by reducing what you pay in interest. We can start by calling our current credit card companies and explaining that we intend to transfer our balance to another issuer unless our interest rate is lowered. Almost all credit card companies run promotional programs with low or 0% interest. They will be willing to put you on one of those rather than risk losing your business. All you need to do is ASK.

Tackling Those Credit Card Balances

Finally we need to develop a strategy for paying off our existing credit card balances.

Gather all your credit card statements together and make a simple table listing the entire amount you owe, and the minimum payment and interest rate for each card. This will help us determine the order in which we should pay off our cards. We need to focus on the highest interest rate cards first and pay off as much as you can each month while making only the minimum payments on our other cards. When the first card is paid off, use the same strategy on the next-highest interest rate card and so on until you’re debt-free.

Late Payments

Are the number one cardinal sin of debt management. You get hit with hefty late fees and very high penalty rates that can go to 30%, plus of course your credit score will take a big hit.


We all have a responsibility to improve our financial literacy and develop the required skills and practices for effective financial management. There is a real need to get away from the “Someday things will get better in my life” or the “Someday I will be able to earn enough money to stop worrying about the bills”. There is a lot more to life than that, but it has to be said and understood that the only person that can change your life is YOU. There is NO substitute for Action! With Action, you will overcome your fears and hesitations and accomplish everything you set out to do and more.


 

Debt 3: Understanding How Not To Get Too Deep In Debt

Posted by Sam Valece on
Debt 3: Understanding How Not To Get Too Deep In Debt

Understanding How Not To Get Too Deep In Debt

Getting too deep in debt before you are even out of your twenties is a very bad thing and in this article I am going to discuss with you some very serious matters regarding the ways that debt can absolutely ruin your life and damage your chance of ever having a comfortable future financially. Learning how to plan for your future right now by understanding how not to get too deeply in debt is your key to a much more successful financial future.

Understanding how severely debt can damage your adult life is very important because it is real.

It is something that can happen when you least expect it, there is no doubt about that. Those credit card payments that are draining you each and every month are going to be the death of you. Not literally but financially, it is not looking like a very bright or frugal future at all. Credit card debt can destroy your chances of ever having a good credit rating later on in your life.

Staying away from credit cards, or actually, staying away from TOO many credit cards, is and will be your wisest decision that you have ever made.

Your financial future will be much brighter because of it and who knows, you might even be able to save yourself some money each month because of not having an overabundance of credit card payments being mailed out each and every month, which would be absolutely wonderful!

Debt from credit cards, mortgages, medical bills and many other things, is all of the reasons why too many people are unable to go one single day without being stressed out about their finances.

Debt relief from paying off all of those bills, or at least some of them, will provide you with a much more comfortable feeling each and every day, because of not having to worry about whether or not you are going to be able to pay your monthly bills.

Finding help on the internet is another good source of getting the financial advice and information regarding all sorts of debt and why it is so very important to not let your debt ratio get completely out of hand.

Letting your monthly payments get out of control is a very bad mistake that far too many people make and if you can learn how not to get in too much debt now, it will definitely help you have a happier financial future.

Learning, no matter how it is you are doing so, is the best way to retain the type of financial knowledge.

It is needed to guide you in the appropriate path, so that you do not end up in debt trouble. There are plenty of financial and debt advisors out there that can provide you with the appropriate information, hopefully preventing debt crisis from occurring with you.

Do not let debt control you. You learn how to control how much debt you allow yourself to have.


 

Debt 2: Debt Management Plans: A Way To Survive The Debt And Get On Top

Posted by Sam Valece on
Debt 2: Debt Management Plans: A Way To Survive The Debt And Get On Top

Debt Management

Debt management plans a way to survive the debt and come on top.

Debt Management Plans (DMP) is placed one step beyond credit counseling and a stone’s throw short of bankruptcy. If you are too deep into debt and unable to pay them, a credit counseling agency may recommend Debt Management Plans. This is a serious step that should be considered carefully along with better money management skills and budgeting disciplines.

Similar to prescription medication that you would only take after consulting a licensed physician, Debt Management Plans should start only after you have talked it over with a certified credit counselor. Your certified credit counselor spends the time to review your financial situation, consider alternatives, and help you learn to handle money better. You want to stay out of debt after you get out of it.

What is Debt Management Plans?

In simple terms, your credit counseling organization begins to manage your debts on your behalf through direct interaction with your creditors. They come between you and most of your unsecured creditors, negotiate lower interest rates, eliminate certain fees, arrange payment amounts and prioritize which creditors gets paid first. In short, almost everything that could be done to get you out of debt fast. These plans cover most unsecured debts, like credit card bills, student loans, and medical bills. But secured debts such as real estate loans fall outside of these plans.

Before signing up with a credit counseling organization for a DMP, verify any concessions your particular creditors offer to that organization.

All these concessions from your creditors amount to one thing: Lower your monthly payment and still get out of debt faster. In some cases, you will be able to pay you debts, years earlier. Ask your credit counselor how much earlier you will get out of debt if you stayed on course.

When DMP starts, you agree to send one monthly payment to the credit counseling organization and they in turn make all the payments to your creditors for you. In the meantime, you may have to agree not to use or apply for credit while you are participating in the plan.

Is a Debt Management Plan right for you?

Cover the following with your credit counselor before you decide to participate in a Debt Management Plan.

Find out if there are other options besides the DMP available to you. Is your DMP handled by the same organization that also provides you assistance with money and budget management during and after DMP? If a Debt Management Plan is handled by one organization and another handles your ongoing credit counseling, how will you coordinate the two? Remember you want to stay out debt later.

Find out how enrolling in a Debt Management Plan impacts your credit and your credit score. Negative and accurate information on your credit record is not easy to remove despite any promises made.

Confirm what your monthly payment amount is and if you can afford it. Do not commit to something you cannot follow through.

Credit counseling organization promises concessions they can get from your creditors, such as lowering or eliminating interest charges and late fees. Confirm these with your creditors and see if there is a waiting period before these concessions kick in or do they start as soon as you enroll in a DMP.

Verify that your creditors are paid within the correct billing cycles and before their required payment due date.

Clarify the steps involved in getting status reports on your account from your credit counseling organization. How often? How detailed? Is it accessible by phone?

Any hesitancy on behalf of the credit counseling organization to let you verify your account status is a big red flag that means you need to find another organization to help you.

Find out if your creditors are willing to reset the clock on your past-due accounts, wiping out the record of missed and late payments if you sign up with a Debt Management Plan. This process is called re-aging your account. How many payments should you make before your creditors are willing to do this?

What to do after Debt Management Plan starts?

Once you sign up with a Debt Management Plan continue to be active with the process, even though emotionally, you may want to wash your hands of it and stay away. DMP does not relieve you of your responsibilities; it only helps you manage it better.

Keep in touch with your creditors and pay your bills until the DMP goes into effect. If you haven’t had any negative entries in your credit report by now, any late payments, late and penalties can still be entered into your credit report.

Contact your creditors and confirm that they have accepted the proposed Debt Management Plan before you send any payments to the credit counseling organization for your DMP.

Call each of your creditors on the first of every month to make sure the agency has paid them on time and verify this by checking your monthly statements. Your monthly statement should also reflect any changes in your interest rates, waiving of the late fees and any other concessions you were expecting.

May you be granted freedom from debts both physical and spiritual.


 

Debt 1: Finding Freedom From All That Debt Can Feel Impossible

Posted by Sam Valece on
Debt 1: Finding Freedom From All That Debt Can Feel Impossible

Freedom from debt introduction

Freedom from debt. Debt can really mean trouble for so many people and often times it can lead to severe devastation, when things just do not get paid off eventually. Ignoring your debt can cost you an enormous amount at the end of the day because what could potentially end up happening is, you could very easily lose all of your assets and property, and I am very certain that nobody out there anticipates something such as that happening to them, right.

Do not let your debt cause this to potentially happen to you down the road. Lack of responsibility is sometimes to blame. But, honestly, there are many occasions where it is only because of an individual’s inability to earn enough money to afford to pay off their debt. So many times they are ashamed and so they avoid ever even thinking about it. Or sometimes they just do not have the money and feel as though they need to hide out from the people calling and threatening them consistently.

Trying to find that financial freedom you have been searching for so long now is not something that will come easy. But there are plenty of people out there that are also so tired of worrying about debt that they would try to do just about anything for help in preventing more debt or to at least get out of some of the debt that they are currently involved in, which creates so much turmoil in their lives.

Finding financial freedom from all or most of that debt can feel seriously impossible but throughout this series of articles you are going to get little helpful hints that could very well provide you with some of the answers to many of the important questions that you currently have about debt or have had in the past, but were just too unsure to feel confident enough to ask them.

Freedom from debt, all of it or just one or two less payments each month, can dramatically create fabulous changes within your life and make it much easier to survive from paycheck to paycheck, which sometimes feels like an impossibility for way too many people. Debt problems are the number one cause, in my opinion, for all of the stomach problems out there that people are suffering from, as well as the many awful divorces that are occurring right now as we all sit here, reading this article.

Your freedom rides on whether or not you are going to have the strength and determination to cut corners when needed, spend only when necessary and live by your means each and every month that passes, without too many excuses or exceptions to the rules. Allowing little mistakes constantly can surely add up at the end of the day, creating unwanted debt and putting more stress on you than you would want or could bear.


 

How Can You Tell When You Have Found The Right Person?

Posted by Rachel Moon on
How Can You Tell When You Have Found The Right Person?

right person

How can you tell you found the right person?

Love is such a wonderful thing that, when shared by two people, the feelings become mutual and the gratifications achieved. All of these are established during the start of dating.

Dating becomes the primary selection ground for people who wish to end up with somebody they can grow old with. It provides them the means to find the right person whom they can share their sentiments, their feelings, problems, etc.

Normally, the stages of dating illustrate continuous experiences. As the couple proceeds to the next level, they get to know another chapter in their mate’s life.

However, even if it seems that two people are already mutual with regards to their feelings, there are instances that one of them would ask if their mate is the right person for them. They can feel that they are happy as of the moment. But when the concept of finding the right person sinks in a lot of questions take place.

No one can be sure if his or her mate is the right person unless he or she will make extra effort to analyze the situation and the person he or she is currently involved with. Even if everything seems to be in perfect condition and that dates are always pleasurable and gratifying.

So, for people who wish to know if the person they are dating right now is the right person or if what they are doing is right or wrong, here are some tips on how to identify the real score of the person they are dealing with.


1. It would be better for an individual to assess his or her feelings about the other person.

In order to know if an individual has already found the right person, it is best to assess their feelings towards the other person.

For example, an individual should try to identify the other person’s qualities. These qualities that can usually be seen daily within the person and it would mean that these are the same qualities that the concerned individual has to deal with.

Hence, it would be better to assess if the concerned individual likes what he or she is seeing or if they can tolerate the personality of the other person.

In the event that the other person has some qualities that are not that desirable, it would be better for the individual to be sure of their feelings about the unlikely behavior. If they think that they can withstand and endure those things even if it will not change, chances are they have found the right person.

The other person may not literally be righteous but the fact that the concerned individual can accept whomever the other person is, then, it must be love.


2. If the concerned person will get to accept the other person’s faults or shortcomings not because of some hopes that someday he or she will change, then it must be the right person.

One should realize that accepting somebody should never be conditional. This means that when a person accepts someone who has qualities not included in his or her concept of an ideal mate, he or she should not pose some conditions or expects something regarding future changes.

Because if this is the basis of acceptance, chances are the concerned individual will only be disappointed in the future and will only make matters worse.


3. If there are no obstacles that will in time kill the flame of love, then it must be the right person.

If in the event that an individual finds somebody and they feel that the relationship is finally the real thing, it would still be better to assess if there will be no more impediments that would curb the growth of a wonderful relationship.

This simply means that the person should be sure that there will be no elements or factors that will trigger some problems on their relationship in the future like vices, addiction, family problems, previous relationships, etc.

If the coast is clear, then the concerned person had finally found his or her right mate and that in time the relationship will flourish and be successful.


All of these things are boiled down to the fact that love is not 100% perfect. People should realize that there are no such things as perfect people. As humans, people are susceptible to mistakes, imperfections, flaws, and whatever weaknesses man is destined to entail in his or her personality.

So, the best thing to use when identifying the right person is careful analysis of the individual as a whole and not just the physical attributes where substantial attraction is usually based on.


 

 

Safety Tips For Internet Or Online Dating

Posted by Rachel Moon on
Safety Tips For Internet Or Online Dating

Safety tips for internet or online dating

Anyone who has ever heard of the Internet, whether they have used an Internet dating service or not, is well aware of some of the dangers that dating over the World Wide Web can pose. The fact is, if you Internet dating can actually be a more rewarding experience than dating out in the ‘real world’, you may even be more insulated from a negative experience on the Internet that you would be in a face to face situation. The Internet offers several screening experiences that are simply not possible when dating face-to-face, and using these opportunities to your advantage can result in an extremely successful online dating experience.

In order to remain safe on the online dating site, start off your experience with each prospective date with caution. A step-by-step elevation process is recommended. Begin your search through the use of a screen name that others will address you as when they wish to contact you. Progressing to first names is not too big a step, but giving out your last name certainly is. Do not do it until you have spent a reasonable amount of time talking to the other person and have a feel for the kind of person they are. Set up a separate email account for communicating with potential dates, and never give out any personal information on the first communications. If you feel the other person is pressing you for this information be prepared to stop communication. If they are pressuring you on something like this already the odds are good that you will face further pressures if you establish a relationship anyway.

Pay a lot of attention to what the other person is saying, and make sure to register any comments they make that are suspicious or contradictory as you talk. Don’t rush into anything – you don’t have to meet until you are both comfortable. As you chat you will both need to establish a direct and forthright rapport with each other in order to establish the trust which is necessary for a face-to-face meeting. This is one of the unique aspects of Internet dating – the foundation of trust is already there before you have even really met. Therefore, if it all seems to be working out you are several steps ahead of where you would be if you had met in the flesh initially.

Some hard evidence is always good to establish some trust and a deepening of the relationship. Request a photo, and be prepared to reciprocate. It can be daunting to send that photo, but if the goal is to meet eventually then you are going to see each other sooner or later anyway.

Finally, when the time comes to meet make sure it is in a highly visible area, with many other people around. Don’t be too private on the first date – dinner at a restaurant or a movie in a theater. Something with plenty of other people around as you get to really know the person.

Internet dating is growing in popularity and can be a great way to find and establish a great relationship. The mantra ‘there are a lot of weirdos out there’ certainly rings true, but the simple fact is that this is also true in real life. Exercising some additional caution in Internet dating will ensure that you have safe experiences, although just like in real life they may not always bear fruit.


To Become Happier And More Empowered

Posted by Rachel Moon on
To Become Happier And More Empowered

Become-Happier-And-More-Empowered

Become Happier And More Empowered

In a search for happiness, many people look for it in other people and not within ourselves. Many people feel that things like money, a better job, better relationships..etc will make them happy. In reality, to find true contentment you must look inside yourself and learn to be your own best friend. That means you have to trust, love, and care for yourself just as you do the people you consider to be close to you.

Following are steps that you can incorporate into your life that will help you to feel more empowered and happy about yourself!

Begin to lift yourself up, not put yourself down. If you don’t like something about yourself, work to change it. If you can’t change it, simply accept it. Don’t beat up on yourself with negative self-talk. You’re not likely to change for the better when you fill yourself with negative thoughts.

Give yourself positive rewards. When you do something that you are proud of give yourself a small reward. Try not to wait for others to praise you because you may grow resentful if the praise doesn’t come. Pat your own back, it is a great feeling that can stay with you for a long time.

Forgive yourself. After that, work to figure out what lesson you can learn, and use it to make better choices the next time around.

Enjoy your successes. Most people can remember all of the details of depressing, painful or even embarrassing events that happened many years ago. What if you did the same thing with all of your wins? Try to remember all of the triumphs and accomplishments that you’ve made and keep that memory with you and think about it at least once a week.

Always remember to celebrate your wonderful qualities! You will soon discover that the more you love yourself, the more you will be able to give love to others – and the more others will be able to love you!


 

Eight Myths about Bullies: Why Bullies Love to Bully

Posted by Rachel Moon on
Eight Myths about Bullies: Why Bullies Love to Bully

Bullies. Research reveals some of the myths about bullying as summarized below:

Myth 1 – Bullying is an isolated, individual aggressive action.

The fact is that bullying and victimization problems are influenced by peers, families, schools and communities, and thus require a social-ecological perspective.

Myth 2 – Bullying occurs between a bully and a victim.

Bullying is a dynamic, social relationship problem where the social-ecological conditions such as adequate supervision, home environment and peers determine behavior.

Myth 3 – Anti-bullying policies are ineffective.

Mandated anti-bullying policies do increase awareness and consciousness and do bring about lasting social change.

Myth 4 – Bullying is a “normal” part of growing up.

Yes, bullying seems to peak during the middle school years, but it is a lifespan problem that is not isolated to one developmental period. Workplace bullying and bosses as bullies is a frequent problem as well. There are serious repercussions to not only the target, but the legal ramifications to the bully are life altering.

Myth 5 – It’s impossible to stop bullying.

With a coordinated, intelligent effort by students, parents and schools to provide positive leadership and healthy relationships, there is definitely less bullying.

Myth 6 – Bullying prevention and intervention are complicated and expensive.

Modeling and shaping children’s relationships is free. Is teaching everyone to treat others as they wish to be treated really that complicated or expensive?

Myth 7 – Physical bullying is more damaging than relational or verbal bullying.

The negative effects of these less overt forms of bullying can last well into adulthood and escape early detection. As I mentioned earlier, words and the emotional pain they caused can linger in minds forever.

Myth 8 – Figuring out how to evaluate anti-bullying efforts is too complicated.

Every school has a math teacher. Evaluating the statistics and surveys from anti-bullying intervention efforts would be a great classroom assignment.


Checklist: Are You a Bully?

bullies 2

1. I enjoy making other people feel bad or sad
2. I make fun of others and do name-calling
3. I start or spread rumors about others
4. I make physical, emotional or verbal threats to others.
5. I deliberately leave people out or exclude them
6. I send mean emails and text messages that are degrading of others.
7. I hit, punch or cause physical pain to others.
8. I use put-downs to make others feel not as good as I am
9. I encourage others to do any or all of the above.

Bullying Behavior Includes the Following Factors:

• Intentional
• Occurs more than once
• Physically or psychologically hurtful
• Exhibits a power imbalance

If you answered yes to any of the above, know that you can change. The first step is to admit that you are a bully. You can’t correct a problem until you admit that you have the problem. Making the decision to change is the first step which is deepened when you make a commitment to that goal. Writing it down and telling others of your goals confirms it. Ask a friend or someone to make you accountable for the change you choose to make. You may even want to start a support group in you school or community and invite other bullies to join you. Bullies will follow the changed behavior of other bullies who are one of them. Your choice and commitment to change can influence others who also need to make amends.


Why Bullies Love to Bully

bullies 3

Some bullies do find pleasure by inflicting pain on others due to a sadistic nature that goes beyond getting even or revenge. It is how they are wired and in their DNA. For most bullies the motivation is about power. Because many bullies were first bullied and stripped of their power, they now are on a mission to get it back.

While the destructive behavior and harm they cause may be similar, what motives a bully varies and their motivation determines how effective counseling and reconditioning methods will be to change their behavior.


Common characteristics of bullies

bullies

While the destructive behavior and harm they cause may be similar, the motives a bully has varies and their motivation determines how effective counseling and behavioral reconditioning methods will be to change their behavior.

Bullies are quick to get frustrated, annoyed and angry.
Bullies lack the essential virtues of empathy and compassion.
Bullies violate rules and regulations and have a positive view of violence.
Bullies are often bigger and stronger than their peers.
Bullies often smoke and drink more and do drugs.
Bullies more often carry weapons to school.
Bullies deliberately miss school and drop out more frequently.


stopbullyingwithedie


 

How To Remember Your Dreams

Posted by Rachel Moon on
How To Remember Your Dreams

remember dreams

Remember dreams. Many people think they don’t dream because they don’t remember their dreams. Sometimes when asked they would reply with something like, ‘Oh no, I don’t want to. They’re too crazy and scary when I do remember them.’

Actually, our  dreams are very important messages from our subconscious and our inner self. Dreams can give us valuable guidance, help to solve a problem, inspire or comfort. There are recorded examples of famous artists, scientists, inventors and leaders who were guided to great discoveries through their dreams. There are many great works of art, scientific discoveries and inventions that have enriched our lives, which would not have been made if the artists and discoverers had not remembered their dreams.

However, even what you may consider the most mundane or trivial dream can help you understand what happened in your experience yesterday or answer questions and give insight. It is of vital importance to know how to interpret the message of your dream. The language we dream in is a picture-symbol language.

When we know what the images we see mean it is like learning a new language. Suddenly those crazy dreams have meaning. An intuitive person can usually discern some meaning by realizing that everything in the dream is about the dreamer. The persons you see in your dreams are really some part of yourself, not actually that person.

At the School of Metaphysics one of the first and most important things they teach is dream interpretation. The first night of class  you’re instructed to get a dream journal and keep it by your bedside with a pen. The practice is to write in it every morning upon awakening. Even if you don’t remember a dream, you can write the first thoughts you have upon awakening. After doing this for a while you’ll understand yourself better through the messages your dreams give you.

One of the first things you learn is that we always dream. If you are asleep, you are dreaming, but there are many reasons why we don’t always remember them. Sometimes we experience a ‘drought’ in our dream recall. Even those of us who value remembering dreams very highly can go through periods of not remembering.


Here are the list of suggestions for anyone who wants to enrich self-understanding.

  • Value your dreams; have a desire and expect to remember them.
  • Envision yourself remembering dreams. See yourself sharing them with friends.
  • Have a dream journal and pen at hand. Write in it as soon as you wake.
  • Practice remembering the events of the day and of the preceding five days frequently
    throughout the day.
  • Affirm, “I remember my dreams”, many times a day.
  • Learn and practice dream interpretation.
  • Awaken slowly.
  • Set an alarm for 90 minutes after going to sleep.
  • When you do have a dream, act on it; that is, do what it tells you, after correctly
    interpreting it.
  • Do not eat before going to bed.
  • Take B vitamins, especially B12.
  • Think in pictures.
  • Drink plenty of water.
  • Improve the quality of attention in each present moment by using all of your senses.
  • Be honest with yourself.
  • Live in the present moment.
  • Gaze into a mirror, looking into your eyes, say, “Wake up” at least three times.
  • Write – 10 Reasons I Do Not Want to Remember My Dreams
  • Write – 10 Reasons I Want to Remember My Dreams
  • Write in your dream journal, a dream you wish you would have.
  • Be persistent.

Why Some Remember Dreams, Others Don’t


 

Wait For It – About The Virtue Of Patience

Posted by Rachel Moon on
Wait For It – About The Virtue Of Patience

Wait For It - About The Virtue Of Patience

The virtue of patience. Building confidence takes patience – it can sometimes take years. Some people attract confidence naturally. But, unfairly as the world works, not everyone does. If life’s truly got you down, turning it around is one of the bigger projects you’ll ever undergo. And even with a fairly normal life, rising above the average and becoming extraordinarily successful will also take years.

This is one of the major reasons that people get stuck in unsatisfying lives: We often end up settling for certain conditions because we think they’re inevitable. This can be because we’ve endured them for a certain period, and/or because we find ourselves coming back to them. It’s all due to a lack of one little term, which means a world of difference between those who succeed and those who don’t.

Patience

When someone settles for less, there’s necessarily a bi-sensation of giving up. And even though this might feel nice, it only does so because it’s comfortable. And, more often than not, comfort is what keeps us from getting where we want to be. How many times have you planned to get up early only to snooze within the first millisecond of the alarm clock? How many times have you wanted to lose weight only to keep gorging on junk food several times a week?

We settle for things by allowing them to happen. And by not being sufficiently patient we give way for allowing something to happen which we might end up settling for, even though initially we wouldn’t necessarily want to. This is especially true for people of low confidence. When we’re not confident, we think unrealistically less of our abilities, therefore often not putting in the necessary work to succeed in whatever our pursuit, thereby getting used to failing.

And, in turn, we end up thinking of not only ourselves, but of everything we do, as a failure. — Which, in a classic example of downward spiralling, affects our patience negatively. However, if one has enough patience to succeed, guess how that affects our confidence — and our patience? Yes, exactly.

Patience is crucial. Not only to succeed in any endeavours, but to a basic, good life. Think about it: If you want to achieve ANYTHING worthwhile, how are you gonna do it if you deem failure in the midst of the process only because you get impatient?

Action Item

For 24 hours, turn off your phone, don’t go online, and don’t watch any TV or listen to any radio. Why? Because we’ve gotten so used to these everyday distractions that our attention span, and, hence, our patience, suffers drastically. The longer you’re able to abstain from these kinds of instant gratification-kinda stimuli, the better your patience will be.


 

A long distance relationship is difficult but not undoable

Posted by Rachel Moon on
A long distance relationship is difficult but not undoable

long distance relationship

A long distance relationship is difficult but not undoable, and here are some tips as to how to make it work:


Have a common goal

You and your lover are not going to be in a long distance relationship forever. Sooner or later, you will settle down, so plan for your future together. When will both of you settle down? How long will you both be separated? These are questions that must be answered even if you are both living in different cities to ensure that both you are working towards the same direction.


Set rules

Rules are required to avoid unnecessary arguments. Both of you need to know the do’s and don’ts: can you date someone else or are you two exclusive? Is it okay for you to go for a drink with that hot girl in your office? Is it okay for her to go clubbing in that body hugging low cut dress that will make every guy drool? Set the expectations straight.


See it as an opportunity

Simply put, be positive about it. Remember the law of attraction. If you are constantly thinking to yourself  ‘long distance relationship will not work’ then chances are you are right – it won’t work. Believe in yourself and your partner. Open your mind and your heart and see it as a journey.


Do similar things

Read the same books, watch the same movies and listen to the same songs so you have more things to talk about. You can even watch Game of Thrones together while being on Skype video call and enjoy your girlfriend’s reactions to the bloody scenes. And the next time you try to be funny by going “Hodor, Hodor, Hodor” in the middle of a video chat, she’ll laugh.


Communicate regularly, and creatively

‘Good morning’ and ‘good night’ texts are mandatory and so are the regular ‘I miss you’ and ‘I love you’. But no matter how sweet these messages are, if these are the only messages you send, your other half is bound to get bored. Be creative. Surprise her with an audio clip of ‘I love you’ in Japanese (Aishiteru), a video of you singing ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’ or a picture of you blowing a kiss in the direction of the camera.


Know each other’s schedules

Keep each other updated of your schedule. You don’t want to call her when she is in the midst of a meeting and you won’t want to be disturbed with a call when you’re sleeping. Always bear in mind of the different time zones if you two are living in different countries, and take note of important dates like exams, presentations and meetings.


Social media helps

Stalk your significant other. Like each other’s Instagram photos. Reply on each other’s Tweet. Comment on each other’s blog posts. Share funny videos on each other’s Facebook wall. Little things like this show that you care.


Give each other a personal object

Give her your favorite Batman figurine. Ask for her Teddy Bear. None of us have a perfect memory and that’s where mementos comes in. It helps us remember and helps us survive through tough times. When your girlfriend is depressed because of her work and cannot contact you due to different time zone, she might look at your Batman figurine and laugh as she recalls how you mimic Batman’s voice.


Snail-mail

Postcards and love letters please, gentleman. It’s old school but it’s never out of fashion, and girls of all times love it. Send gifts – Birthday, Valentine, Christmas, anniversary, and any other festive season that you can think of. It can be something as normal as perfume, or naughty gifts like sexy lingerie if you are trying to drop her a subtle hint that you can’t wait to settle down.


Okay, maybe not that subtle.


 

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